LAW OF LOGICAL ARGUMENT

Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. 

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

LAW OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS

The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 

LAW OF THE BATH

When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

VARIATION LAW

If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

LAW OF THE ALIBI

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. 

LAW OF RANDOM NUMBERS

If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. 

LAW OF PROBABILITY

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

LAW OF GRAVITY

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.